Letters To Me.....

February 19, 2001

2012-01-24T22:35:00.002-05:00

Hey-

Screw what E said! He lied! He only danced with me once and made me cry forever! So yeah. I still love hi, but... I'm movin on! I like M now. He's a crush... I don't know how long he'll last as 1. I kinda like N but he isn't a crush yet. G/G

Kari!

I LUV M!
N'S HOT!

Dear Kari,

Oh man. I still remember the situation you're talking about with E. That was a rough one. You'll still remember that fateful night as the first time you cried yourself to sleep. You will get over him, and I'm glad to see you have wandering eyes for all other kinds of good looking men at JFK! I admire your ability to be able to look at other men so quickly. Hold on to that thinking when you're older.. it's definitely not always easy to look at other people when you are getting over someone. I have a suggestion for you in terms of the men folk.. don't write off a guy just because you don't think "he's hot". You may miss out on an amazing person if that is your first layer of judgment. Just a thought! ;)

Until next time,
Kari

Some Day in the Winter of '96.....

2012-01-16T19:41:00.002-05:00

Dear Journal,

Hi it's me Kari. Today I'm going to a Whalers game at the Hartford Civic Center! I don't know who thier playing against I'll ask my dad. Do you like this.

(insert picture of Whalers symbol)

Dear Kari,

A Whalers game! How fun! You know now that you're 23 sadly the Whalers are no longer a professional hockey team and you will think it's so cool you used to attend their games! Soon you will be going to a Chicago Blackhawks game.. You live in Chicago! Isn't that awesome? Anyway, I hope you have fun at the game.. I remember you attending one where they played the Penguins.. maybe it's this one. Enjoy the rest of 2nd grade and enjoy Mrs. Rustico. You will always look back on her as one of the most influential teachers you have ever had!

Kari

May 10, 2000

2012-01-01T20:50:00.002-05:00

*Names are starred to for people's privacy... haha not that they'll read this, but it's more for the sake of my own embarrassment

Dear Journal,
What's up? Omg A looked sooooo HOT today! He is so cute! Anywayz, T is soooo HOT TOO! They're both sooooo cute! I don't know who I like more! Ok, math class rulz! I like talking to Ash, Cait, Daryl, and Justin. They're all da bomb! Grace said C likes me! Eeeewwwiiiiieeeesssss! That's just gross! Do ya know who I think is cute? G. I don't like him, but I think he's cute!

Well I g2g

Bye Bye Bye!

T+Me= Us

Dear Kari,

WOW. Girl you crazy. At age 23 you're looking at yourself at age 11 baffled by how many people you were interested in at one time. When you're older you'll be wishing you could have feelings for more than one person at a time... so enjoy that, I suppose. However, slow down. There is a whole lot more to sixth grade than just boys. Enjoy this time of making new friends.. you will experience the whole meeting new people again once you're a freshman, but enjoy it now too. If there's one thing I wish you would've done a little more is give people a chance. Don't just hang out with the people who dress like you and fall in the same crowd as you.. give other people a chance. You might be missing out on an awesome friendship by being judgmental. I know being popular and in the "in crowd" is super important to you right now, but believe it or not none of that will matter in the future. Stay true to yourself and be a good friend and person always.. and eventually you'll find yourself very happy with the crowd(s) you're in. Enjoy the end of your sixth grade year... and spoiler alert, you will dance with a boy at the last dance of the year! (and many more in the years to follow... so stay optimistic and hopeful!) Also, it's rude to say ew that someone you think is a loser or you're not into likes you. Just be flattered a boy is willing to give you the time of day at all. :)

Until next time,
Kari

November 20, 2005

2011-12-23T16:47:00.002-05:00

now.. for my revelation. it's kinda dumb, but it's one of those moments of
clarity type things. you know things people tell you all the time and then you
finally get it. so basically:

_my life is so good
_god always answers your prayers. you just have to realize it's in HIS
timing, not yours
_i have a lot to be thankful for

sounds so simple right? it's funny though. the whole god's timing concept
has always angered me because i'm human and i want things done on my time. i've
been praying about my whole romantic situation and just pleading with god to
give me that clarity or that *BAM!* we're not meant to be together, or OMG we so
are!! haha and it hasn't come! i've been left in this massive amount of gray and
confusion and i mean i never over-analyze or think about things too much.. (ha
ha ha) but i've come to realize i just need to chill out and have faith in the
fact god has heard every one of my prayers and he is going to answer them. i
will have clarity. it might be tomorrow, it might not be months from now. but
it's going to come. and i'm either going to get over him or have reason not to.
we'll just have to wait and see and i'm pretty content with that.. do i really
have another choice? there's absolutely nothing i can do about it. it's in god's
hands now. and that's relieving. and things are good now.. i like them, and if
this is how it's going to be for awhile, i can totally deal with that. word to
your motha!

it's been real, and it's been fun
you know what? it's been real fun!

*kari

Dear Kari,

I am very happy to see you're keeping things in perspective. I know it's not always easy and what you're going through can feel very all-consuming. I'm laughing because what you're saying does sound so simple, yet it is something you're still working on at 23. It is very smart of you to give things up to God- He can handle them better than anyone else can. Just keep your faith and pray about it. However, I do kind of think you have a hunch what that moment of clarity will be.. Don't hold on for the sake of holding on. Trust your instincts and don't be afraid. Like I've told you before, you will be just fine.

There's a quote in your room in Chicago right now.. (yep, you stay in Chicago.. you rarely consider moving back east.. weird, I know.) that says this "God has three answers to prayers: 1. yes 2. not yet 3. I have something better in mind"... Try and remember that as you work through this situation.

Um, side note. "Word to your motha?" I know you're joking and trying to be funny... but you really sound like a freaking moron. I think it would have been funnier if you ended it with a "WHAT UP!" You're hilarious though, and still are if I must say so myself... so don't let this get you down. Also, start watching How I Met Your Mother. It just came out, and it's really funny. You'll be super hip and ahead of the game in college when your friends start watching it... You can be all like "totally watched that in high school.... what up!" (see the what up again? super cool) Alright 17 year old Kari I'll end this letter with something else totally lame you used to say..

Later days,
Kari

May 22, 2005

2011-12-19T12:39:00.002-05:00

i try to let go, i try to break free
there's something in you, it's got such a hold on me
how was i to know that you would go so deep
i try to think, but you are all that comes to mind
all the time.. always
it all comes down to you, yeah
everything i do, everything i see
you're always here with me
what can i do? it all comes down to you..

ahhhhhhhh so true. i'm holding on for dear life<3

----------

Dear Kari,

First off, thank you for posting that song. I forgot how much I still love that song.. even if I don't consider Down to You a favorite movie of mine anymore. It's still a good movie... but who eats shampoo and talks to a spider on the wall? It's not romantic.. it's weird. Freddie Prinze Jr. does a whole lot of nothing in the future.. sorry for the constant spoilers, but I feel like these are things you need to know.

Now regarding that situation you are holding on to dear life for.... RUN. I know how much you love him, but you need to save yourself now. TRUST me. You'll save both of us a whole lot of heartbreak if you just get out now. I don't want to tell you what happens because I know you won't believe me, so maybe I'll try and tell you some of the good parts. He will still be someone you'll always care about, and you'll still be somewhat a friend of his in 2011. You will look back on the time you were together and smile. You won't regret it, but you will regret how many years you were hung up on him, so like I said before.... RUN girl RUN! There are a lot of great guys you know.. try something new and let it go. You'll wish you explored more options later.

In other news.. Enjoy high school. You'll look back on it fondly and positively, so don't get caught up in drama, enjoy your friends, and please make sure you talk to Lauryn more. I know you still hang out with her sometimes and say hi when you see her in the hallway, but please just invest a little more time into that friendship.

You're going to be all right. You will get over him. Just start now.

<3Kari

December 17, 2000

2011-12-18T16:44:00.003-05:00

Dear Journal,
Hi, right now I don't really like anybody. It's almost Christmas, all I want is someone (a guy) who will love me. I don't know who it will be, but I know that if I pray and ask God about it he'll do the best. I want to experience the boyfriend thing, love, I know that I deserve it. I've had a pretty rough year. I just hope God will grant me my wish.

<3Kari

........

Dear Kari,
Hey. You probably won't believe this right now, but it's you.. writing to yourself from 2011. It's almost Christmas now. Before I get to some of your concerns in your most recent post let me tell you a couple things. Enjoy this upcoming Christmas because it will be your last with your Bestefar. Sorry for the spoiler alert, but you'll never stop missing him. So soak it up and enjoy every moment with him.

Don't worry. You will experience "the boyfriend thing". You're right, you deserve it, but that won't make it happen. I'm glad to see your faith in God is strong through this. You'll need that later on, so keep thanking Him constantly and trusting in His plans for you. You might still be wondering a lot of the same things and asking the same questions in 2011, but your perspective will be a lot more clear then. Hang in there.

There will be a movie you'll see when you're at college at North Park (yup, you end up there.. so when you're feeling anti-north park just keep it to yourself. It will make your life easier and you won't feel stupid later when you remember talking about you were going to go to film school in california... ain't gonna happen.) called He's Just Not That Into You. I really wish this movie came out in 2000 and not 2009.. but here's a quote for you that I think will help you a ton from the main character Gigi:

"And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope."

Like I said before, hang in there. You're going to be just fine.

<3Kari

An Introduction

2011-12-18T16:33:00.003-05:00

So....

I have spent quite a bit of time thinking about how I rarely update this thing. I think it's mainly because I don't always have a lot about my life to update people on, and most of you get any updates on my life through me or Facebook. Thinking about that led me to thinking about how much I miss writing. I feel like it's not a very well known fact among most of my friends how much I enjoy writing. (Probably because every time you saw me writing something it was a paper!) So I was brainstorming ideas of how I could use this blog to enjoy writing again, and write about something people may find interesting...

Fast forward to this past finals week for two of my roommates...

My poor Kyra and Grace were little stress buckets this week. Kyra graduated from nursing school on Friday (Wooo!) and Grace is a biology major taking classes that make me want to throw up just from the name of them. I always feel bad when they're studying so hard because I don't have that stress currently, so I try to cheer them up in as many little ways as possible. (buying them wine, chocolate, making gin and tonics... you get the idea) Kyra seemed like she needed a laugh this week and I knew just the thing. I have in our apartment two of my journals.. one beginning in 1995 and one beginning Christmas of 1999. Kyra was of course dying laughing (those of you who have read any portion know why) and I was cracking up at myself too.

It was sometime after that the idea came to me. I wish so badly I could write letters to myself now telling 7, 12, 15, 17 year old Kari things to help her along the way.

So that is what I am going to try and do. The plan is this:
- I will post the original journal entry or an excerpt. (From either one of the journals I have or some old online journals surprisingly still hanging around the internet)
- I will then write a letter to myself

I hope it will be entertaining.. We shall see....

Another part of my inspiration: Brad Paisley's Letter To Me

I'll love you forever

2011-10-26T23:29:00.003-05:00

http://www.dellavecchiafh.com/sitemaker/sites/DellaV1/obit.cgi?user=494450Ossola#

All I can really say right now. This week has been heavy.

Hmmm...

2011-09-26T17:29:00.003-05:00

So I'm terrible at updating this thing. I'll admit it easily.

I've been trying to think of a theme for this blog, rather than just updates on my life..

Cooking? Nah.. I enjoy it, but that's more Nina's thing.
Bars/Restaurants I go to? I've been trying new places.. but that is more Rebekah's thing.
Beer? Don't want Momma to kill me.

So my dear friends... You tell me since my mind is blank. What would YOU be interested in reading about in terms of my life? I will still write updates on life, but as you know they will be rather sporadic. So give me some inspiration!

Lots of love to all of you. I miss you (even those still in the chi!) a ton!

Whoa.

2011-07-31T19:41:00.002-05:00

This has been a downright crazy month. A roller coaster of emotions..

1. My beloved Farmor had her stroke. Definitely shocking and one of those things that rocks you to your core.
2. Being completely overwhelmed by the outpouring of love, prayers, and support. I am so blessed by the amazing people in my life.'
3. Watching some dear friends endure break ups and deaths in their families. Hard to see people I love hurt.
4. One of my friends giving birth to her second child. Welcome to this world Hannah Faith Smith!
5. One of my closest friends become engaged to an amazing man. I could not be happier for Joe and Ali and it's crazy to think next summer I will have yet another wedding of one of my closest friends!
6. Sprinkle in a TON of babysitting, my wonderful brother visiting for a weekend, and a few crazy nights with some awesome people.

I must say I'm happy July is over, but I am sure even more that God won't give me anything I can't handle. And I'm glad that a theme woven throughout this month was how amazingly faithful my God is. I really do not know how people without faith get through the trials and tribulations of life, and it makes me so incredibly thankful for my faith!

Psalm 31

2011-06-26T20:12:00.002-05:00

Psalm 31 is arguably one of my favorite Psalms. I remembered stumbling upon it in high school when I would take out my Bible and open it to a random page. It's amazing how many times it opened to a page that held words I needed to hear. Perhaps divine intervention.. huh? :) The cool thing about my favorite portion of this Psalm is that it has held such prominence in my life through the many phases and stages I've gone through. I just thought I'd share it because it's on my heart.

¹⁴ But I trust in you, LORD;
I say, “You are my God.”
¹⁵ My times are in your hands;
deliver me from the hands of my enemies,
from those who pursue me.
¹⁶ Let your face shine on your servant;
save me in your unfailing love.

-Psalm 31: 14-16

Here Goes..

2011-06-10T21:57:00.002-05:00

Friendships beginning. Friendships ending. First love. Heartbreak. Death. Graduations. Life changing decisions.

Those are just a few of the things Becky, my youth pastor has been there for in my life.

When I met Becky I was a young girl. She was mom and dad's friend.. and I always thought she was really nice and really fun. She played with us more than a lot of mom and dad's friends. I remember going to Memorial Day parties at Ken and Becky's house and always having fun. At church I remember Becky helping with Pathfinders and/or Trailblazers when I was a young.

I remember entering junior high youth group and in the middle hearing that Becky was going to be our new youth pastor. To be honest, I was a little unsure. I loved Becky.. but I did not know how our relationship would translate in the transition. Boy, was I in for some great things.

Being the sometimes very sensitive and ahem, sometimes over-dramatic girl I was (and am!) Becky always showed an immense amount of compassion and patience towards me. She always, always listened to everything I had to say, no matter how petty or unimportant it may have been.. she knew it was important to me, so she listened. She gave me honest advice. Not the kind of advice she was "supposed" to give me, but real, no-holds-barred advice, which was exactly what I needed. She helped me navigate through some tough times with my friends, my first boyfriend.. the beginning, middle, and end.. issues with my family, and countless other things. She was there with a smile, a hug, an ear, and encouragement. I never left a conversation with Becky feeling anything but better than I did before I entered it. She was a true guide for me, and I cannot fathom what my teenage years would have been like had it not been for her.

Becky is the kind of person who will just be there for you, no matter what. You can always count on Becky. I remember when my grandpa died when I was thirteen Becky and Ken were there at the M.I.T chapel in Massachusetts for the service to support my mom. Those are the kind of people Becky and Ken are, and they are role models of the kind of friend I strive to be. When Ali's dad died two years ago Becky was so incredibly supportive to me and helped me be strong for Ali. I always knew I had someone praying vehemently for me, and there are no words to express what that means to me. I know no matter where I am, Becky will be there to support me.

Perhaps most importantly, Becky helped form my faith. Becky and I shared a lot of transformational faith experiences together.. mission trips to West Virginia and New York, CHIC, countless retreats, and working together when I was her intern the summer of 2008. She challenged me, encouraged me, and showed me what being a true Christian is really all about: loving people. Loving people passionately not despite of their flaws or imperfections, but because of them. I do not know if I have met someone who better embodies the kind of love that Jesus has for us.

I am so excited for Becky as she opens this new chapter of her life, though I am sad for my church back home as we say goodbye. Becky is going to be an amazing pastor of the church that I know will call her. That will be one lucky congregation.

Becky- Thank you so much for everything you have done, and I know will continue to do for me. I look forward to more laughs and good times with you as life takes us to new and exciting places. You are such an important person in my life, and I am so blessed to know you. Words cannot begin to express how thankful I am for you. I love you so very much!

This Girl

2011-06-05T16:30:00.002-05:00

Rebekah's getting married in less than 2 weeks!

Words cannot express how much I love this girl and how excited I am for her and Trav!

This is the way that we love..

2011-05-25T22:07:00.002-05:00

Life seems to be slipping away lately.

Life seems like a big wind tunnel I've been blowing through lately. Today was one of those days at work that makes me want to throw my hands up and just walk out. My classroom flooded so we had to combine my kids with another room (making about 30 kids in a room smaller than mine!), two of my kids got bit.. one girl on the arm and one boy on the arm and cheek! Worst feeling ever. Some kids are just little monsters! Hahah but today is done, and tomorrow is a new day. Trying to focus on that.

But a lot of good things are happening.

So many good things have been happening. I moved into an awesome new apartment with some awesome ladies. I went to Kansas with Rebekah for her bridal shower which was so much fun! I got to see where her reception is going to be and meet a ton of her family. It will be really cool to see the reception site when it is set up! My mom came to visit for 3 days shortly after that which was really great. It's always so good to see her, although it makes me miss her that much more! Then this past weekend I was able to celebrate Meghan and Mike's wedding with lots of wonderful friends!

And the best part is.. I think the best is yet to come!

Rebekah's bachelorette party is this weekend. I cannot wait. It is going to be so fun to celebrate such an amazing person with our amazing friends! Rebekah's friendship is such an incredible blessing in my life, and I could not be more happy to celebrate this milestone with her! And then... THE WEDDING IS SO SOON! It's going to be so fun! I am so excited and know I am going to be filled with joy that day.

So I think overall you could say life has its ups and downs, but I am so very blessed!

Take You Back..

2011-05-01T21:31:00.002-05:00

I can only speak with a grateful heart
As I'm pierced with this gift of Your love
I will always bring an offering
I can never thank you enough
You'll take me back, always
And even when my fight is over now
Even when my fight is over now
You'll take me back, always
And even when my pain is coming through
Even when my pain is coming through
You'll take me back, always
Jeremy Camp: Take You Back

Don't really know why, but I was thinking about this song today. It's a song that makes me reflect on the unfathomable love God has for me, and all humans. What makes me deserve it? I have no idea.... but I am so very thankful.

One of Our Favorites..

2011-04-03T20:10:00.001-05:00

I think these few Bible verses are favorites of many of us. I just feel like a lot of my friends (and definitely me!) need this little reminder right now as we're trying to navigate this new phase of life.

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

That Song..

2011-04-02T18:56:00.002-05:00

So as I was browsing through my Itunes I found a song that will always hold a special place in my heart.

If you knew me in middle school/early high school (Hannah where you be?!) you know I was a tad dramatic. (Nothing's changed.. right?..) Anyway there was a period where I was having a tough time and I remember listening to this song and feeling like it could not speak to me more perfectly.

It's not really the kind of music I listen to frequently anymore, but it's fun to revisit once in awhile..

It was a cloudy night, or so it looked to me
I felt so lost, I couldn't say why
I needed strength to change my mind
But those ghosts stick to me like glue
Hating life, believing I was no good
It was a darkness all my own
A song played on the radio
It went straight to my heart
I carried it with me until that darkness was gone
-Bouncing Souls: Gone

Kind of funny to read the lyrics and hear it now, but it still can take me back to that phase of my life.. pretty cool.

Marathon Week

2011-04-01T23:07:00.002-05:00

It has been a long week for me.

I worked late on Monday. Went in early Tuesday and Wednesday. The kids were nuts this week. I think it's a combination of spring fever and the natural ebb and flow of the craziness that is Room 2. We had Grandparent's Day on Wednesday which was fun for the grandparents and children, and it was nice for me to see some of my littles interact with them. Only 5 came which was perfect. The kids were crazy and many took advantage of the situation to be extra naughty, but overall it was good.

My buddy I bring home from daycare 3 days a week's mom was out of town and I babysat him Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and tonight. MTW until around 8 and tonight until 9. It's just really tiring some days to spend extra time babysitting when you've been with kids for 8+ hours already.

BUT. I am trying to focus on the positives of this week instead of being tired. I have tomorrow and Sunday to sleep. Thank God for the weekends.

Positives:

1. Nina, Kyra, Grace and I are looking at potential apartment on Sunday which is less than what I pay now, in a nicer neighborhood, has FREE laundry in the basement, and includes some utilities. That is awesome!

2. My littles are really cute. And funny. Their little faces are so precious to me. I'm realizing more and more each day how attached I am to all of them.

3. My buddy was really good this week compared to other times I have babysat. He was a good listener for the most part and we had a lot of fun. Makes the extra hours not so bad!

Those are just the first 3 things I can think of, and I'm sure there are many more if I wanted to write them all down. I've been trying my very best to keep everything in perspective. Helps make the stress of life a lot more manageable. =)

don't you ever...

2011-03-15T22:13:00.002-05:00

Just feel like this?!

I'm fine. Don't worry. But this perfectly captures an emotion I think most of us feel all too frequently from time to time.

Go on little girl, feet twirl, go and make him smile
Go on like the rumbling drums of the march of time
And when the son meets the dad
It'll be pretty bad for the pain
But you'll always be the same
You will always be the same
-Ryan Adams

2 in a day?!

2011-02-27T15:39:00.003-05:00

Kristin, I hope you're proud.

Sara Evan's song Born To Fly has been my favorite for a long time.

Today I love it even more than usual.

So I confess my sins to the preacher
Bout the love I've been praying to find
Is there a brown eyed boy in my future?
And he says girl, you've got nothin but time
But how do you wait for heaven?
And who has that much time?
And how do you keep your feet on the ground
When you know, that you were born
You were born to fly

I love the tune, her voice, the lyrics, and feel like it could be me asking a million questions!

Beer of the week (?)

2011-02-27T15:07:00.003-05:00

So many of my dear friends have a weekly topic on which they blog.

Beer will not be mine... Haha though I thought it would be fun once in awhile to blog about a beer I get excited about.

I started wanting to try more Dogfish Head beers after watching the short lived series on the Discovery Channel, Brew Masters. I really like Sam, the owner of Dogfish Head and his passion for craft brewing. If any of you have Netflix and want to watch a great documentary about beer and the beer industry I recommend watching "Beer Wars". (It's available on Watch Instantly) It gives you some great insight about the industry. I watched it for the first time quite awhile ago, but watch it still from time. Sam's in that documentary as well.

ANYWAY, I tried the 90 minute IPA from Dogfish Head last week for the first time. I liked it, but had it towards the end of the night so I wanted to try it again without having any alcohol before it. Friday night I got that chance and was again very happy. The "90 minutes" refers to the amount of time hops are continuously added to the boil kettle during the brewing process.

I am definitely not a beer tasting expert, so I'm not going to try and describe the taste in my mouth and pretend like I know more than I actually do, so here's my review.

If you like IPAs, it is probable you will enjoy this beer. It's strong, with a 9%, but it's balanced and doesn't overwhelm me. It makes me want to try Dogfish Head's rare 120 minute variety. It isn't the best IPA I've ever had, but I will definitely go to it for my 1st or 2nd beer when I see it on a menu for a good price. =)

Hitting My Stride..

2011-02-24T19:15:00.002-05:00

Lately at work I've felt like I have been letting people down.

I don't mean that to sound dramatic, or self pitying, but I feel like I'm at a crossroads.

Being "authoritative" is definitely not my strong suit. I LOVE being the head teacher in Room 2, but I forget that it means I really have to lead the way. I've been blessed with mostly an awesome group of girls that support me, encourage me, and take initiative. However, lately I realized that I need to step it up and be more of a leader for them.

Does anyone else get intimidated by needing to do things that aren't easy to be a good leader? I'm sure people do.

If any of you have a spare moment, please just say a prayer for me to have the strength and courage at times to stand up to people and do what needs to be done for the betterment of all, and not to back down from confrontation or sticky situations. Thanks =)

Pros and Cons

2011-01-31T19:48:00.000-05:00

So I am not one to make pros/cons lists. I have nothing against them at all, but I just never make them. Not usually how I operate. Today I began to make my first one and get the piece of paper folded in my pocket so that I could write things down if they came to my head during my day.

Halfway through the day I couldn't find it. I figured one of my kids took it and threw it away.

No big deal... I only dropped it somehow in my boss's office. Haaaaa at least she thought it was a parent's and had no clue it was mine! (It didn't say anything bad or embarrassing really, but I still wouldn't want my boss to look at it)

Let's just say future pros and cons lists will remain on my computer so I can't drop it.

Also, I love Britta and Hannah. Thanks for a very memorable weekend girls!

Perspective

2011-01-15T10:41:00.003-05:00

I think to myself this world is a beautiful place
I have been blessed
And I feel like I've found my way
I thank God for all I've been given at the end of every day
I have been blessed
With so much more than I deserve
To be here with the ones who love me
To love them so much it hurts
I have been blessed
Martina McBride: Blessed

This song is such a great reminder for me, especially during weeks that are not the easiest.

New Year

2010-12-30T10:21:00.002-05:00

So here I am writing a new year's post in Connecticut.

This.was.not.the.plan.

My flight yesterday to Chicago got canceled because of fog and since things have been so crazy here in the northeast due to the blizzard this past weekend the quickest they could get me back to Chicago is Saturday. I have been relentlessly calling, trying to get out of any New England airport or even to fly into Milwaukee, but nothing's working.

I must say I'm a little bummed.

My New Year's was going to look like.....

-Having an early dinner at my favorite restaurant (so far) in the city: Fountainhead
- Riding the el for a penny
- Going to some parties and seeing friends in town only for a short while
- Celebrating for the first time in Chicago with friends

I would be lying if I said I'm not disappointed I will still be here in good 'ol Connecticut. It's especially killing me knowing LJ is now at our apartment, and my favorite mom and little girl that moved to California are visiting the daycare today.

BUT. I am TRYING (trying being the key word) to realize the positives for being home a few extra days.

-More time with my family. This is obviously always good
-I get to see more people and places that I did not get to see yet
- I did want to go in the hot tub.. Maybe I'll do that tonight

Grace said maybe this is a sign I need to move within driving distance... Haha She may have a point! If I could somehow make Chicago and Connecticut about 8 hours closer together I honestly think my life would be perfect. But until that happens- this is the reality of traveling by plane.

We will have to see what my New Year's looks like now. Sometimes the unexpected/unplanned/shotgun events can be the most fun!

To all my Chicago girls- I will miss ringing in the new year with you, but we are celebrating what is to come in 2011 on Saturday! Love you all!

Craig & Sarah Nelson and Joe & Chelsea Chybowski

2010-11-16T22:42:00.003-05:00

Things have sure been a whirlwind of great things lately.

October 23rd: Craig Nelson and Sarah Ruhl's Wedding

November 4th- November 8th: A trip to Southington with Rebekah and Nina

November 13th: Joe Chybowski and Chelsea Anderson's Wedding

I cannot say enough nice things about my 4 dear friends who recently got married. It is really the first time where I have been friends with both the bride and groom. It made the whole event even more special that I love and truly know how special each of these couples are separately and together. Although I probably will never be in Minnesota as much as I have been in the past month it was DEFINITELY worth all of the traveling!

The first picture is of Chelsea and Joe and the second is of Sarah and Craig. (I stole both of these from facebook! We all know how great I am at taking pictures.....) =)

It's Batty

2010-10-27T21:35:00.005-05:00

So this is what my classroom looks like these days. The tree's trunk was longer but some little stinkers ripped it off the wall... I traced the kids' hands and used them for the leaves. Rebekah cut out all the pieces for those bats and we had the kids paste them where they wanted. They are SO cute. I love the decorations and their fall theme.

Well I Guess This is Growing Up..

2010-09-20T18:21:00.003-05:00

So I had a field day at Ikea on Saturday.

Spent more money at one time then I've spent at one time.

BUT! My room finally looks like a room.

MY room. The very first room I decorated on my own.

It's still a work in progress.. but I'm so happy with it.

The pictures are from my phone, so they aren't the best.

Lost My Innocence?

2010-09-04T17:34:00.003-05:00

Well this weekend I have been dealing with a lot of adult things that I do not wish to get into at this point in time.

So as I was sitting at home feeling a little down and unmotivated I began to read my livejournal. I wrote in it pretty religiously in high school and every few months or so I read portions of it and I find it very therapeutic. It's therapeutic to see where I was, how I've changed, how I haven't changed in so many ways, and to make me appreciate my past, specifically my life in Southington.

Revelations from today's reading:

I wrote about how obsessed I am with smelling good, and it's funny to see how that idiosyncrasy is still very present
I wrote the way I thought, which is very funny, but I appreciate it now because it was so honest. The good and the bad.
I miss some of my innocence. The first time I was feeling things. The first time I felt like I really loved someone, trying to navigate my love life when everything was new and the possibilities were endless, and thinking that things could never get worse than they were that day. Oh, how life teaches us so many lessons.

Overall though, it just made me smile. I hope that you all have pieces of your past that can make you feel how reading through my livejournal makes me feel. Whether it's a journal, pictures, a scrapbook, or a box with memories, I encourage you once in awhile to delve into it for a bit. If you're like me, it will make you appreciate where you are now so much more than you did when you woke up that day.

Well...

2010-08-23T22:16:00.002-05:00

Well... the sound did not work on those videos. So much for me trying to be fancy....

Today, this verse is on my heart. So simple, but I love putting it at the end of cards or letters.
Philippians 1:3.

Another Gem

2010-08-21T17:59:00.001-05:00

I love this video. It is my life lately.

Notice the hit and the "ow!" that ends the video.

I'm alive.

2010-08-21T17:52:00.001-05:00

Not having my own computer has really slowed my updating.

Life.is.good.

This laugh reminds me of that daily.

He is one of my main men.

Goals

2010-07-24T22:30:00.002-05:00

So I have begun to set a goal for myself. Gulp.

It's nerve wracking setting goals if you ask me.

This is something I have been thinking about a lot recently, and have really been lacking it and needing it desperately.

So here it is.. kind of simple really.

I want to read the Bible and journal about it.

I want this to be part of my daily routine, but I know myself, and know that I will have to start slow and build it up. I just feel like I need to be more proactive in my faith and not be complacent and comfortable with where it's at, though I feel I am in a good place with it. That's not what being a Christian is about: the comfortable stuff. So I know it may sound lame, or like a little step for some, but for me this is going to be big. I need to start working on myself from the inside out, and the innermost (and largest) part of me is my faith. That is where I'm starting.

So there you have it. I haven't set a start date yet. It's all in the works. I think I am going to buy a new journal/notebook and a new Bible so we can begin this journey all fresh.

Pray for me!

Just take a day

2010-07-18T14:36:00.002-05:00

Lately I feel like I haven't been myself. You know that feeling where you're just kind of off? That is how I've felt the past couple weeks or so. I need to get back to center. I think one of the best parts about life is you go to sleep and wake up to a brand new day. I had a long talk with Lindsey, Erik, and Mom today (separately) and Janna last night and they have all helped me to realize I'm going to be just fine. Mom told me something that really resonated with me. She said, "Kari, just take a day to indulge in a little self pity. If you're sad, just be sad, and then tomorrow you move forward and figure out how to get yourself out of it."

So today, I'm just taking a day.

And tomorrow it will be done.

And then I need to figure out the rest. It may not be easy, but I know it's going to be okay.

Congratulations!!

2010-07-05T13:27:00.002-05:00

Congratulations to Travis and Rebekah!!!!
[if you can't tell.. Rebekah and Travis are engaged]

I do not think I could be any happier for two people. I am on cloud nine right now for them!

So now it begins.

Lots of planning. Organization. Decisions to be made.

I can't wait.

God has blessed me so much with Rebekah and my friendship, as well as my friendship with Travis. I am so thankful for both of them being in my life.

I guess bottom line:

I am filled with joy.

2010-06-23T21:51:00.002-05:00

I just wrote a whole post and I went to submit and it deleted. GRRRRR how annoying. haha

To super summarize:

We have 3 cats: 2 kittens and 1 cat. They don't get along yet.
We threw a successful surprise kegger for Rebekah.
I went to WI/MN w/ Rebekah to visit her fam and go to Country Splash and see Leanne Womack and Zac Brown Band
I leave Saturday for my cruise!

One Year

2010-06-03T18:28:00.002-05:00

Today marks the one year anniversary of Ali's dad's death. In some ways it does not seem that long ago, and in some ways it does.

Mr. Garry was the best. He was the kind of guy who made you feel special when you walked in the room. I loved his greetings.. "Kari Baby!! How are ya?!" It was always Kari Baby. Loved every minute of it. He always made sure that everyone was taken care of, and well fed. He made the most amazing home-made pizza and made so many other delicious things too. He was an excellent tennis coach. He was always in my corner and pushed me to be better. I loved when during a match I'd hit an overhead smash or have a good return and look up and see him smiling on the other side of the fence. Every single time I hold a racquet or am on a court I think of him, and I know I always will.

I just felt that I should write a little bit about him today. That barely scratches the surface of all the nice things I could say about him.

It's nice to be nice. <3 I love you and miss you Mr. Garry!

The Contact Crusade

2010-05-27T18:27:00.002-05:00

So, I started another blog. Call it boredom, call it ADD, call it whatever you like. I think it will be fun.

To start, I must give credit where credit is due.. Chelsea came up with the name.

I'm going through my cell phone contacts and having 1 of my friends randomly choose one for me to blog about. That's it. Here it is: The Contact Crusade.

Our God is Faithful

2010-05-26T17:54:00.003-05:00

So I had to say "See ya later" to Britta again this morning. It was definitely tough, but we did it! Hahaha goodbyes just stink.

Anyway, I was in that state where I wasn't crying, but on the verge when I got to work. I had to gather myself a little bit. I kept trying to focus on the kids and their smiles and laughs and I felt better.

And then there was my sweet Sydney.

Since I began working at the daycare (1 year ago today!) Sydney has reminded me of Britta. Sydney has bright blonde hair, bright blue eyes, is amazingly sweet, cuddly, and a little sassy. =) Sydney for whatever reason today was exceptionally excited to see me and was giving me hugs and playing with me. After a while I told her that she was making me feel better today. Later on, she brought over a piece of yarn and wrapped it around my neck saying it was a necklace and said, "I want to make you feel better Kari". I almost died. It was exactly what I needed today.

I can't help but say Thank You Jesus.

It reminds me of one of my favorite Christian songs by Sara Groves..

Morning by morning, I wake up to find

the power and the comfort of God's hand in mine

Season by season I watch Him amazed

in awe of the mystery of his perfect ways

All I have need of, His hand will provide

He's always been faithful to me

Well, Here it Goes..

2010-05-26T07:38:00.005-05:00

I woke up early today with no alarm.

I'm not totally sure why that is, but I decided to blog.

I'm sure part of the reason is I went to bed earlier than usual last night because I had to say "See you later" to Britta, and it bummed me out pretty hardcore. I'm still pretty bummed, but soon I will shower and have a full day at work and I'm sure that will distract me from my sadness.

Goodbyes are strange. I know Britta will remain one of my best friends, and even though the logistics of our friendship are changing a lot, the friendship itself will remain, and perhaps even flourish. Absence does tend to make the heart grow fonder. I'm going to miss you so very much Britta. My life is better because you are my friend.

Like I told her before, and this is what I believe for us (and for all of you girls who I now have to be separated from!).. That my sadness is a little less sad because I know I am where I am supposed to be, and you girls are where you are supposed to be. I just wish we were all supposed to stay together. I guess God just wants to make life a little more interesting and make us work a little harder at keeping our strong bonds strong.

I had to put up a classic Kari/Britta picture from sophomore year because it makes me crack up. "KARI AND I LIKE TO SLEEP... OKAY?!?!" And I had to get some group pics from graduation.

My, Oh My..

2010-05-19T22:21:00.002-05:00

Well, I have not updated in a while. I am acknowledging this. I will update again soon. My life is essentially about roughly 15 two year old children who I interact with daily. They are so precious, exhausting, and fun. I love them oh so very much.

I heard "Wide Open Spaces" by the Dixie Chicks while Rebekah and I had the country station on at work. I remember listening to it a ton before heading out to Chicago. It feels appropriate to be listening to it again. It still resonates with me, and I think it might even resonate more than ever.

I will give a real update soon. I promise.

on repeat in my head

2010-05-04T21:23:00.002-05:00

Hey, 'cause I will soar away like the blackbird
I will blow in the wind like a seed
I will plant my heart in the garden of my dreams
And I will grow up where I wander wild and free.

How do you wait for Heaven?
And who has that much time?
And how do you keep your feet on the ground?
When you know that you were born
You were born, yeah.. you were born to fly.
-Sarah Evans: Born To Fly

Can't help but have this song in my head this graduation week. It's so crazy. For those who have been there, I know you know exactly what I mean. For those who have not yet.. get ready.

Lord,
Help me be the best person I can be this next week.
To my family.. who have supported me for these past 21 years.
My family who loves me unconditionally even when I don't deserve it.
To my friends.. who I knew long before I began my life in Chicago.
To the ones who I've met these past 4 years; they have changed my life.
Let me be patient, caring, compassionate. They are all stressing.
And to everyone I come in contact with.. let them see your love through me.
Amen.

In My Time of Need

2010-04-29T21:06:00.001-05:00

I am in the library tying up loose ends in my portfolio. Tomorrow is the big review and then essentially, I am done with college. How strange. Anyway, I'm listening to Ryan Adams on shuffle, and this song came on, and it's so perfect.

In My Time of Need (this is just an excerpt..)

Will you comfort me in my time of need?
Can you take away the pain of hurtful deeds?
Cause I will comfort you when my days are through
And I'll let your smile just off and carry me

I just feel like it's perfect because I am so blessed and thankful to be continuously comforted in my times of need.

At Rutledge Hall, Rutledge Hall...

2010-04-25T19:41:00.006-05:00

So I'm done student teaching. I finished Wednesday but it is just starting to really sink it. It started Thursday whenever I looked at the clock and thought about what my students were doing. Wednesday was a whirlwind.

We had a field trip to the Adler Planetarium, which I had never been to. It was really cool; I want to go back. It is hard to get the full experience when you have a group of 4 energetic boys who just want to do anything interactive and not read about what they're doing, but it was fun. We got back to class and they had some time to write their reflections about the field trip. After that they gave me an ivy plant in a clay pot that says "THANK YOU, MISS SAGER" around the brim and all of the students (and Tracy) signed it. It's very cute and something I will treasure. They also gave me a book of index cards which has each student's picture on it and a note to me about what they learned. As I read it in class I definitely got tears in my eyes which led to "Look!! Miss Sager's crying!!" Typical and cute.

Tracy had to go to a meeting so we said our goodbyes and I had about 15 minutes to just hang out with my students. I gave them their bags with stickers, a pencil, and some erasers, and a thank you note to each of them. They were so funny and cute. The boys' reactions to the thank you notes surprised me the most. One of them just gave me a big hug and several of them specifically thanked me for the card. It melted my heart. As the bell rang a bunch of the girls would not let go of me in the hallway and once I finally told them they had to go and I'd see them again one of the girls made me aware that another one was crying. I was so surprised because this student is a girl who is very silly and seems apathetic to things. I later found out another girl cried during her after school program. That took me by surprise, but was very flattering. I wanted to cry too.

It is slowly starting to sink in that I'm actually done. It started a little Thursday when I looked at the clock and thought about what they'd be doing. They were a wonderful bunch of students and I feel so blessed to have been put in that classroom with Tracy.

This is a sample from their Ukelele Concert 2 weeks ago. Sorry for the shaky filming!

2.

2010-04-19T13:09:00.002-05:00

Two days left of student teaching.

Hard to believe isn't it? Graduation is just a few short weeks away and that is hard to believe. I just had a great Saturday in Michigan with some of my close friends. It was great. Two wine tastings, a yummy dinner, a beach bonfire, and most importantly quality time with people who mean so much to me. We all have busy schedules and a ton on our plates, but I hope we still realize it is now, more so than ever, important to spend quality time with each other.

9

2010-04-12T22:29:00.002-05:00

Meet my Sadie Baby.

This girl totally has my heart. She moved into the 2 year old room at daycare from the baby room a week before I started working last May. I must say, I was not immediately drawn to Sadie and our connection did not happen instantaneously, but it is sure there now. She has such a personality and is such a bright spot in my days at Swedish. I am so very happy for Sadie that her mom was able to quit her job to spend more time with her and her older brother, Jordan (also at the daycare), and younger brother, Clayton, but I am so very sad. Chelsea has a very similar bond with Sadie and Jordan as well and we both think there might be waterworks when we're saying goodbye to them. Even though we know their mom very well and hope she will call when she needs a babysitter, we will miss them very much at daycare. I am definitely soaking up every chance I get in her last 3 weeks to spend with her!

10

2010-04-11T15:38:00.002-05:00

Ten days.

In just ten days I will be done with student teaching.

And I can work. Full time hours.

Thank goodness. I am sick of having no money!!

My mind is very full lately, and each day that countdown gets less, I get a little happier.

It also helps being surrounded by such a wonderful group of friends. They makes things a lot easier.

I am so very blessed.

For Kristin and Veeps

2010-03-31T17:24:00.004-05:00

Kristin and KVP wanted more pictures. So here they are. (These are all from my phone so they're not the greatest!) The first is the kitchen (complete with Aaron and Chels) and the second is the 1/2 bath.

.. so is it official??

2010-03-30T20:27:00.003-05:00

So this morning we signed our lease for our apartment! (Or at least our apartment from May 2010-April 2011) The pictures aren't very exciting because it's empty and the floors are being redone. The first picture is of our living room.. typical Chicago style (lovin the "stained glass".. haha) and then the 2nd is of my bedroom. I have a lovely view of the building haha but our apartment is huge and I love it. I'm so excited!!!

2010-03-28T20:40:00.000-05:00

"We do not hope like one with no grief, nor do we grieve like one with no hope."

-Pastor Judy today. So very beautifully said.

Some things just don't make sense.

2010-03-26T15:41:00.002-05:00

This week we lost our friend Peder. He is with Jesus now, which has given me such comfort as I know it has given his family and friends comfort. I remember one of the most recent times I saw Peder was when he was at my apartment around 3 o'clock aka when the Ellen show is on to watch it with a bunch of us. Peder LOVED Ellen and it was so fun to watch with Peder as he enjoyed every minute of it. It's just a small thing, but it's just what I was thinking about as I began to write this. My heart breaks for Peder's family: his mom, dad, brother, and sister in law. I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to lose my brother. Tears are welling up in my eyes as I just write that sentence. My heart also especially breaks for Taryn, his girlfriend. Taryn is such a wonderful person who I feel blessed to know. You should not lose the love of your life at age 24. That's just not fair. My heart goes out to all of Peder's friends. We're too young to die, and I know Peder would have continued to live an amazing life. He is so missed already, and was so very much loved.

Every blessing you pour out I'll turn back to praise..
When the darkness closes in Lord, still I will say..
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name
You give and take away..
You give and take away..
Matt Redman: Blessed Be Your Name

Dear Mom

2010-03-14T21:27:00.002-05:00

I think this song (which i believe Kristin put the lyrics to on her blog not long ago) resonates with me so much. Mom, you should listen to it because it answers many of your questions you like to ask me. =)

I might have to wait, I'll never give up
I guess it's half timing, and the other half luck
Wherever you are, whenever it's right
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life

And I know that we can be so amazing
And baby your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility

And somehow I know it will all turn out
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And I promise you kid, I'll give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

Michael Buble: Haven't Met You Yet

YAY!! =)

2010-03-01T23:17:00.003-05:00

This will be a little vague because it kind of needs to be, butttttt........

today I was offered a full time job with benefits!!!!

I am so incredibly excited.. This doesn't mean my job search necessarily ends, butttt it is really big news and I couldn't be happier.. it's been hard to wipe a smile off my face all day!

ALSO, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!!!
-I am so incredibly blessed to have been given such an amazing mother. Mom I am thankful for you each and every day. Rack up some more frequent flyer miles and come visit!! I LOVE YOU!!!!

Happy Birthday! =)

2010-02-23T16:47:00.000-05:00

Happy 22nd birthday Chelsea!! Look at that face... =)

Maybe Not...

2010-02-23T07:58:00.002-05:00

So maybe I'm not always thankful for ALL the things I listed in the last post. [Yes, I'm not always thankful for my friends and family..... ;) ]

I always miss that little guy though.

Life Lately

2010-02-21T23:25:00.004-05:00

My classroom from the front of the room. I sit at the table by the computer =)

Two of my favorite students (I know you're not supposed to have favorites... but I do!)

Sydney and Sadie, 2 of my loves at daycare

Today I am thankful for:
my student teaching experience
my job at swedish cov
my wonderful family
and my amazing friends

TMZ

2010-02-18T14:45:00.003-05:00

So lately (when I say lately I mean pretty much this whole year) I have been totally addicted to TMZ. Why is it that I love to read celebrity gossip? I don't particularly care if Tiger Woods' second mistress has a missing tooth, yet I read this website daily. It is one of the bookmarks on the top of my browser and probably one of the most clicked. (Up there is hulu, my bank, netflix, twitter etc.)

Is anyone else addicted to this kind of ridiculousness? Or is it just me?

Sick Day

2010-02-16T10:20:00.002-05:00

So today I am having what feels like my first sick day. I cannot remember a time when I called out of work. I usually suck it up and deal, but with a stomach bug that really isn't an option. Between my 3rd graders being absent a ton recently and from what I hear 6 girls at work being out perhaps this was long overdue. I'm hoping I feel better soon because I am getting observed tomorrow and I do not want to cancel, but maybe it's best since I won't be so prepared.

Anyway, thank you children in my life for being willing to share everything with me. ;)

I'm Sorry Kristin!

2010-02-09T22:40:00.001-05:00

My dear friend Kristin Englund is a very faithful blogger and often reminds me that I need to update.

I almost always agree.

I wish I had more to say here... but I at least wanted to say I'm sorry Kristin! I will try and update soon.. Life is crazy and I'm busy but I am not letting any day burn away and trying to enjoy as many aspects of life as I can.

Here's to blogging again soon....

"It's Like a Freaking Zoo In Here"

2010-01-24T21:10:00.001-05:00

I am currently in a cheetah snuggie sitting next to Christine in a zebra print snuggie.

Life is good today.

Student Teaching

2010-01-23T20:21:00.002-05:00

So I began student teaching on Tuesday. I was very nervous. I didn't know what to expect. I was worried about waking up before 7 AM every morning. I was worried because I had only met my cooperating teacher once this summer and couldn't really remember her. I loved my mini teaching experience and my class of 4th graders and I worried my new class wouldn't compare.

As we often find out in life.. We worry a lot over nothing.

So far I love my class. I love my cooperating teacher. I don't mind my schedule as much as I thought I would. I'm adjusting. I know there will be many days ahead that won't be my favorite and there will be mornings that I will not want to wake up. However, I am hopeful. I feel like I'm supposed to be in a classroom. We will have to wait and see.

See you later, see you soon

2010-01-09T22:42:00.002-05:00

So tonight is my last night here in my wonderful hometown of Southington, CT. It is weird to leave tomorrow because I do not know when I will be home next. It could very well be in the spring around Easter, and it will definitely be this summer, but I still do not know. It is another reminder that I am transitioning into a new phase in life, which is fun, exciting and scary all at the same time. Here are things I will miss about life in Connecticut (besides obviously people)

Driving around Southington and knowing every shortcut to anywhere. Also, driving anywhere and recognizing people in their cars. I will also miss seeing a familiar face basically anywhere I go.
Going to The Music Shop when I am bored. I didn't get there very much at all this break, but I love it, whether they're happy I'm home or back to giving me a hard time about anything.
Walking into church and being surrounded by the familiar feeling of "home". There's definitely a difference being in your home church.
Being in the suburbs in general. Being surrounded by trees and green. Looking up at the sky and seeing stars and constellations crystal clear.
Going to the Fireplace and running into people from high school... even if it's awkward.

Those are just a few things off the top of my head. The best part about moving on to Chicago is every time I'm home... those things are still there! That is the thing that makes me know I'm making the right decision. I may return to Southington soon.. who knows. Anything is possible. The world is my oyster! ;) I'm getting corny on purpose. But see you later Southington!

Borta bra, men hemma bast. =) (I am too lazy to find the Swedish a)

Away is good, but home is best. I think that will always be true.

Lessons From a Fourth Grader

2010-01-07T00:18:00.002-05:00

So tonight I babysat two children, (for privacy's sake I am only using the first letter of their names.. you will see why shortly) S and A. S is 13 and he is in 8th grade. He has not been dealt an easy hand in life. He suffers from many emotional difficulties, primarily Nonverbal Learning Disorder and being bipolar. I spent two summers ago with S & A babysitting them all day every Tuesday. Their parents (who I have known since before I can remember from church) gave me the lowdown on all things S. What to expect, what are normal behaviors, and how he has made babysitters cry in the past. I was a little nervous, but knew I could handle it. Knock on wood, he has always been excellent for me and I have never had an issue with him. We have always got along very well.

Well tonight I arrived and S's mom told me he had a horrible day today and that I should be prepared for the worst with him. He was fine, but I could tell his day had been rough; he even went to bed before I told him it was bed time. However, S's sister was trying to weasel her way into staying up as late as she could, which I of course let her. At the time I was watching Hoarders on A&E. (That and Intervention are 2 of my favorite shows) I had to think before I explained to this 9 year old girl what hoarding was. She is exceptionally bright but it is a hard concept to grasp for this 21 year old girl. As I was explaining it to her she stated simply "I don't understand why people would want to collect trash." It was a good point. I told her that it was an illness and that often times people have an illness that they cannot control, and even though it would not be their choice to act a certain way they cannot help it. It was then she said the following statement:

"Kind of like S. When he cries and can't help it."

I could not believe she connected the dots so quickly. As I was saying it I was hoping the dots would eventually connect, but it took merely seconds. I am still amazed that a 9 year old can understand some of the hardest things to understand about life as a whole.

So tonight A, I thank you for reminding me to always be empathetic.

Looking Ahead

2010-01-01T15:09:00.003-05:00

While in the last post it was fun to look back on the past 10 years, the new year has arrived. I do enjoy looking back, probably because often it is a lot easier than looking ahead. (AKA at times it scares me half to death!) But here is what is ahead for 2010...

Finding an apartment withing walking distance of North Park
Applying for teaching jobs in Chicago/Chicagoland
If I don't get any teaching jobs transitioning to full time at Swedish Cov.
Going on a cruise with my family and close family friends to celebrate my college graduation and Danny's high school graduation
Adjusting to "real world" life in Chicago and making decisions about whether I want to continue life there or move back to the east coast

Those things are the only things I know for certain. It will be interesting to see how it all unfolds!

The New Year

2009-12-31T00:45:00.002-05:00

So I was thinking of making one of the top ten lists of 2009 for myself. Some sort of witty or probably more ridiculous category, but then I realized we are starting a new decade. So instead I am (very briefly) recapping the highlights of the past ten years. Ten years ago I was 11 and in 6th grade at Kennedy Middle School.

In the past ten years I have...

Made it through middle school without too much harm done. (I think nowadays that is quite an accomplishment.. I actually liked 7th and 8th grade.. and probably had over 20 crushes in the course of 3 short years... I didn't say I wasn't a little nuts in middle school)
Got my dream present Christmas 1999. Erik and I got a shoe box with a dog bowl, leash, book about Bichon Frises and other dog accessories. We got Nissen in January 2000. I still remember the day perfectly. He rode home with us zipped up in my blue Old Navy winter coat. He was (and still is!) so precious.
Lost my beloved Bestefar. Hard to believe it has been 8 years since I've seen him.. Feels like a lonngggg time!
Started high school at Southington High and freshman year met some of the people who are still some of my closest Southington friends. Some stand out memories are of course the tennis team
Had the only boyfriend I actually "count". Although as years continue to go by it seems like maybe I shouldn't, but the alternative is saying I've never had a boyfriend.. so he definitely counts. ;)
Graduated from high school and was accepted to North Park University
Experienced my first real heart break
Met the most amazing group of people at North Park and am incredibly blessed to have them all in my life! Fell in love with Chicago and spent my most recent summer living there with 2 of my best friends.
Experienced my first truly shocking death when Ali's dad passed away this past summer. Have continued to learn more about life.. that it is not always easy.
Realized that no matter what changes in life.. one thing remains. God. Is. Faithful

So those are the major events.. Of course summed up incredibly, but it is amazing to see how in ten years I have experienced love & loss and some people have come and gone and others have stayed.

So.. what are the next ten years going to look like? I will be 31 in 2019! EEEEEEKKKKK!!!

2010 will start with me living in Chicago looking for a full time job and an apartment near North Park. Stay tuned because if the next 10 are as eventful as the last it is going to be quite a ride!

SNOW.

2009-12-20T16:49:00.000-05:00

Yuck. I hate snow sometimes. Right now however, I love the way it looks. I love lawns and trees being covered in it. And it will be nice to have a white Christmas. It always adds a little something when there is snow on the ground for Christmas. I have had a very mellow week since I have no car. We've been sharing the 2 between the 4 of us and I haven't been working so I am last in line. It was good though.. I really was able to unwind and de-stress entirely. This week I have a few projects around the house to do and some of my portfolio to get done. I made a to do list for break and my goal is to not have everything left to the last week....

Keep your fingers crossed!

Reflections

2009-12-15T01:40:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I feel as though my life has been perfectly laid out for me, like stones forming a walkway outdoors. I started out at one stone, and have been able to see each stone that follows and walk through the stages and phases of my life. Some steps were bigger and more difficult than others, but I could always see what was ahead. Lately it seems as if the next stone is a long ways away. I know it's out there, and I can almost see it.. like it's getting closer, but I just can't fully make it out yet, and it's scary.

However, I also feel that while I've been on that same walkway I have had many hands on my back guiding me through each step. Many hands have remained through every step, while some may have lasted for one or two. It is now when I cannot see the step ahead that I am reminded of those hands on my back and I can breathe and pause for the dust to settle so I can wait see that step. It makes the road a lot less scary.

And while there have been many hands guiding me, I have always felt my feet and my heart being moved by something much greater than hands guiding me. I have always felt Him tugging at my heart or moving my feet forward when I felt I could not take a step further. The only thing in my life I know that will never change is Him. He is what makes me walk, what makes me sing in the sad times, and what holds me through the hard times. He makes and has made the road possible for me.

So where does that leave me now? I'm still standing on that step, listening carefully to my heart and waiting for my feet to follow. I feel the hands at my back, and am warmed by how many have been there for so long, how many are new, and how many have stayed when it was not always easy. I feel as though I'm ready to put my foot out to reach that next stone, even if I cannot quite see it yet. And I'm beginning to be okay with that.

Lyrics

2009-12-01T20:35:00.002-05:00

I've been using lyrics a lot lately, but frankly it's easier than writing what you're thinking/feeling sometimes.

All in all it's just another day now
You're falling down
What you gonna do
Standing on top of the world tonight
No ones looking back at you

Stand tall
It's going on, it's going on
It's gonna be just fine
You're holding on
Holding on today

-Lifehouse: All in All

Patience is a Virtue..

2009-11-29T00:32:00.002-05:00

It is very difficult to be patient. If you ask me, sometimes it flat out stinks to be patient. That is how I've been feeling regarding certain aspects of my life lately. It is easy to be frustrated with waiting, but I know the best things in life are waiting for, and let's face it... things rarely happen in the timing we'd like them to happen in. That does not mean I like to fight it still...

I sit here on the stairs
Cause I'd rather be alone
If I can't have you right now I'll wait here
Sometimes I get so tense
But I can't speed up the time
But you know love
There's one more thing to consider
Said, woman take it slow
And things will be just fine
You and I'll just use a little patience
Said, sugar take the time
Cause the lights are shining bright
You and I've got what it takes to make it
We won't fake it, I'll never break it
Cause I can't take it
-Guns N Roses: Patience

...Replace woman with man, and that would be about perfect

Today

2009-11-17T16:59:00.002-05:00

It is a dark and rainy day in Chicago today. I'm not a big fan of it.

......

Forget the time, it's nothing you touch and see
All this is fine even as it crashes down on me
Looking around there's nothing that I could want
More than to tell you there's no more than we've already got
I'll be all right
As long as it matters
As long as you're here with me now

Updating For Kristin!

2009-11-16T23:27:00.002-05:00

So this pic has been in the blogs of almost all my friends, but I don't care. It's fun. We celebrated Kristin's 22nd birthday last Tuesday by going to an improv show at the Annoyance theater on Foster & Broadway. There were some really funny acts and it's always fun to go out together in a bigger group. I think that's my favorite part about birthdays. Speaking of which, tomorrow is my roommate Alissa's 21st! Alissa has had to be VERY patient since she is the last of us to turn 21 and I'm so excited she will finally be able to go out with us all! We are going to a bar near North Park- the Claddagh Ring tomorrow for a couple drinks since Alissa has her internship early the next morning and Wednesday we are going to our favorite place, Duffy's. Every Wednesday night a band called the Spazmatics plays at Duffy's and their set lists are entirely 80's classics. We get to dance and Bud Light drafts are $1... Not a bad deal. ;) I'm very much looking forward to celebrating!!

Bimonthly update...

2009-11-03T23:51:00.002-05:00

So I won't sugar coat. I never update this thing. Maybe it's because I've never been too great at keeping up with a journal of any kind or maybe I've basically just forgotten about it entirely. Either way, I thought I'd update tonight.

Life is good. I continually find myself realizing this as each day comes and goes. I am incredibly blessed. God has given me so much that I don't deserve and I am so grateful. I love my job. Lately I've been working more and more in the baby room rather than the 2 year old room. That room has anywhere from 2-16 month old babies. I just love holding the little ones and watching them grow. It tugs at my maternal instincts big time. I've also started mini teaching in a 4th grade classroom. It's actually the school where my good friend Mary just started teaching at and there are other North Park alum there as well. My cooperating teacher is wonderful. She has such a positive vibe about her and I know I am going to get so much out of my experience. I am going to be teaching spelling, English, and a little reading. I can't wait to get into it and actually start teaching lessons. I know I'm going to love it.

That's it for now... I'm sure so few of you actually read this but maybe if I start writing more that will change. I'm not promising anything. ;)

It's been awhile..

2009-09-15T16:41:00.002-05:00

These last few months have been so crazy. Life has hit me with so many different things and I feel now that I'm feeling the aftershock. I'm not ready for another big rumble, but I've learned that this is life.. it's real, and scary, but so beautiful and precious.

Right now I'm having trouble trying to not think about where I'm going to be after May. I know I have time, but I also know I can't bank on that forever. I love this city and these people, but it is not going to be the same after May. I love Connecticut, and miss the small town feeling, and having the ocean just a drive away, and being with my family... ahhhh I don't know.

One day at a time

Have I Mentioned I love Carrie Underwood?

2009-07-27T22:41:00.003-05:00

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've been out there searching forever
Is in your hands
Oh, and when you figure out
Love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else seem so small...

So incredibly true.

The New Question

2009-07-03T14:34:00.000-05:00

So I've discovered in the phase of the life known as college it goes in a series of questions:

1. Where are you going to go to school?
2. What are you majoring in?
3. What do you want to do with that?

and I am now at 4.. which is my least favorite.

4. What are your plans for after you graduate?

I've basically narrowed it down to either moving home and saving my money or staying in Chicago. If anyone out there wants to make the decision for me I'd appreciate it! ;) I know it will come with time, and I have time, but it's definitely something that is stuck in the back of my head.

What a Month

2009-06-29T12:39:00.002-05:00

June has been a crazy month. Little did I know what was in store for me this month. I think I have grown more as a person in this month than I have grown in a long time. On June 3, 2009 Bob Garry passed away. Mr. Garry was the father of one of my closest and oldest friends from Southington, Ali. Ali and I met in first grade in the bus line with the simple question "Hi, I'm _____, What's your name?". After that simple question we would talk every day in the bus line, and then found out we would be in the same second grade class. It all went from there. We soon found out we lived in the same neighborhood, I joined the brownie troop Mrs. Garry led, and we quickly became best friends. We would go over each other's houses all the time, and as Grace and Michelle entered the picture for me (we were all in the same school and girl scout troop) the four of us became a solid group, and eventually our parents all became friends as well. It was perfect. Our friendships continued to grow and withstood the many challenges that they faced. The four of us through everything always knew (and know) we have a solid base with each other and I know these girls will be there for me for the rest of my life. College has not broken our bonds, and in many ways I think the distance has made our hearts grow fonder.

I will never forget the morning of June 3rd. I got woken up by a phone call around 8 AM and it was Grace. I knew that this wasn't going to be a good phone call, but I had no idea what news was about to hit me. The day was just shocking. I of course cried, but for most of the day I kind of felt numb. Mr. Garry... it just couldn't be. He was 66, but in such good health. Not the man that I'd known for 13 years.. the man who had always made the best pizza ever and would make it for Ali and Jackie and their friends whenever, always gave me the best greetings.. led with a "Kari Baby!!", the man who pushed me in tennis and high school and always supported me, one of my best friend's fathers.. How could this be happening? Needless to say there were rough days ahead. I flew home that Saturday for the wake Sunday and the funeral Monday. It was a blur of a visit home, and home never felt quite like it did that visit before. The strangest part perhaps was that on Tuesday I flew back to Chicago to just continue on with my life. It broke my heart that I was just supposed to carry on while I knew Ali's life would never be the same.

It has been so weird. My heart still breaks every day for Nancy, Ali, and Jackie. I've learned to truly appreciate my friendships and the people in my life. It was so amazing to have my family, the Garstangs (Grace's family) and the Spreda's (Michelle's family) all leaning on each other and to unite to support the Garry's the best we can. I do not think I have ever felt so close and connected to all of them. Also, my North Park friends supported me in amazing ways. I can not even begin to talk about how loved I feel and supported. I could not have been so strong for Ali if I did not have a strong support system behind me as well.

Please continue to pray for the Garry's, because the road ahead is long, and it will not be easy. I have found a lot of comfort in my faith though. It definitely is what has pulled me through and I know it's what is pulling the Garry's through. There is a season for all activities under heaven...

Uncharted Territory

2009-06-03T21:12:00.002-05:00

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
-Psalm 121

Mr. Garry, you will be truly missed.

Race Among the Ruins

2009-05-14T22:58:00.003-05:00

More reasons why I am so incredibly blessed. The weirdest part of being in Chicago right now is not having all of them here with me. I am beginning to recognize the uniqueness of all of my friendships and realizing that it is the combination of all of them that makes North Park what it is to me. I am also realizing that the best part about being in Chicago right now is that I am lucky enough to have some of them with me. To quote the Dave Matthews Band (hush all of you who tease me about my love for them) "Turns out not where, but who you're with that really matters". It is so true. Going home would not feel nearly as wonderful as it does if my family and friends were not there. Chicago would be fun for a little while, but I wouldn't hold in such high regard if my friends weren't here.

Tomorrow since Nina and I are living alone in our apartment this weekend are having some of the girls over. Should be a solid first weekend of the summer.

You made it all, said let there be
And there was all that we see
The sound of your voice
The works of your hand
You do all things well..

Thank you Lord for blessing me so much.

Transitions

2009-05-11T11:07:00.002-05:00

Well... after a longgg week of finals, packing, moving, lifting heavy objects, a bridal shower (that was fun!) and saying goodbye to friends I am ALL MOVED IN! All of our stuff is here in our apartment for the summer! Thank the Lord! We're still in the unpacking process, but since we subletted our friends' apartment we have furniture, everything we could ever need for the kitchen, a tv, and a huge movie collection! We are all set. I'm still getting used to the fact that a lot of people aren't here for the summer, and even worse.. some of my friends have graduated and I don't know when they will be back or when I'll see them next. It was a chocked full weekend and was overwhelming at times, but I am so blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful people here, and supported by wonderful people who are not here. A lot of people are around Chicago right now.. especially for the month of May before many of my friends head off to various Covenant camps to work. I will update more about summer life soon!

Confession

2009-05-03T23:40:00.002-05:00

So I have a confession: I am officially on Twitter. I thought it was dumb. I said who would ever want that, need that, or think it was cool? That was me. Then I don't know why but I caught a little bug and just got one. Do I need to know what Martha Stewart, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, or John Mayer are doing? No.. Is it fun? Yes. My friends all make fun of me, except for those that have one too. (Thanks Kristin, Rebekah, Alissa and Travis!) As Kristin said, I needed something new. Facebook became too monotonous and boring. So if any of you are fellow "tweeps" look me up on twitter. My username is karisager. I know, tough to find me. :)

Who can spot the bachelorette?!

2009-05-02T21:05:00.002-05:00

I am going to try to keep updating often, even if it's just a picture. Sometimes I think they are the most fun.

Who can find the bachelorette?? Is the headgear the give away.... =) This is on the el going to a bar/restaurant called Cesar's for Mary's bachelorette party.. She gets married in August!

And I'll find a way..

2009-05-01T00:13:00.002-05:00

I'll surrender everything I've got
You can have everything I am
And perfect everything I'm not
I am willing, I'm not afraid
You give me when I say
I wanna be your hands
I wanna be your feet
I'll go where you send me..

Lately I've been thinking about the things that really make me want to be involved in Youth Ministry. I think the biggest thing is I want to give students a place to continually feel accepted, loved, and supported no matter what they've done or more important who they are. I wish that was a simple thing to accomplish, but it's not. That is what I want more than anything for our youth. I think a safe place combined with the love of God can accomplish more than we realize.

I am blessed.

2009-04-26T14:43:00.001-05:00

My future roommates and myself at the Cubs game for Hannah's 21st birthday last Wednesday

It's Official!

2009-04-16T12:49:00.002-05:00

Well I now officially have a place to stay for the summer and a full time job! :) I will definitely be working full time at Swedish Covenant in their day care which is a couple blocks from my apartment. I am so relieved that everything is working out so well.. I know now this is definitely where I'm supposed to be!

Ecclesiastes

2009-04-07T21:14:00.002-05:00

My life right now in so many ways can be explained by Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8. Most often when words fail to explain how I'm feeling I can find a song that does, but right now nothing fits more perfectly than this passage.

1. There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
2. a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3. a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
4. a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5. a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and time to refrain
6. a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7. a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8. a time for love and a time for hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

This is definitely a stage of life where these times come and go frequently, and also intermingle. I'm slowly learning that all of the above are okay.

Decisions, Decisions..

2009-03-24T12:31:00.002-05:00

So I've hit that part of a major decision that everyone hates (possibly the most): doubt. That part of the decision making where it's finalized but you still wonder (at times) what the heck you have done, but in your heart you know it's right.

For those of you who do not know what decision I'm referring to, it is my decision to stay out here in Chicago this summer. I have a place to live, and a tentative job.. (Keep your fingers crossed for Friday!) I started thinking about it this summer when I had my 2nd summer in the row of being very bored for the most part. My internship at church last summer really saved me. I was talking about it to my friend Amanda who is married and lives about a mile away from school and she told me she and Jeremy were looking for people to sublet their apartment this summer. I then asked my roommate, Rebekah if she'd be interested since I knew she wanted to stay out here too. We were talking about it a couple days later with our friend Nina and she hopped on board too. It is a 1 bedroom apartment on the corner of Foster & Lincoln. There's a 24 hr. Walgreens across the street, a Dominick's supermarket diagonally behind us, and a Dunkin Donuts next door. What could be better? I'm hopefully going to work at the daycare at Swedish Covenant Hospital full time this summer. They really need people and my other roommate Chelsea works there now and told them about Rebekah and me. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for that. If that falls through I'm just going to try and get a job nannying or at a restaurant or something.

I know this is what I'm supposed to do this summer. I'm so excited.. I can't wait to have this city I love so much at my disposal for my favorite time of the year. It will be nice to just live and be able to work full time. In many ways it is a test run to see if I'd like to live in this city after I graduate, whether that be right after or a few years after. However, it's a little scary. Thinking about paying bills and working full time is definitely a transition. In so many ways I'd love to work at church again and explore this tug I've always felt from God pulling me towards youth ministry, but I know what I have to do.

Somebody's Hero

2009-01-30T17:46:00.003-05:00

givin all her love to her was her life's ambition
but now her baby's moving on and she'll be missing her
but not today, those are tears of joy runnin down her face
she's somebody's hero
a hero to her daughter in her wedding dress
she gave her wings to leave the nest
it hurts to let her baby go
down the aisle she walks right by
looks back into her mother's eyes
and that smile lets her know
she's somebody's hero
-jamie o'neal: somebody's hero

... miss you mom!

It's Been Awhile

2009-01-29T14:20:00.002-05:00

Well I have not been very good about updating this lately. The holiday season has a way of making you forget things and I feel like that momentum carries on for the start of the new year. This semester has been off to a great start. I have 3 night classes which is annoying but it isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I am taking 2 psychology classes which I love and it's making me more and more confused about my future career. I know I enjoy teaching, and I think I would be good at it, but I'm not sure if that's entirely what God is calling me to do. My feelings toward Youth Ministry have not gone away, but in a lot of ways I feel that I have been pushing them to the back burner. It's hard to determine whether or not that's what God is calling me to do, but I think it's something I need to explore. Luckily next semester gives me time to take some electives and I think I will take some more youth min. classes if they fit into my schedule.

Goals

2008-11-15T17:50:00.002-05:00

I may just be spending too much time with my Secondary Ed./Lit major friend Britta, but I have found myself wanting to read more and more. If only I had time.. Luckily I have a few flights and layovers in my future so I'm hoping to take that chance to read. I bought a Kurt Cobain biography (really uplifting) which is on my list but here is my mini list of books to read. (It is much longer, but these are immediate)

-Heavier Than Heaven (The Kurt Cobain book.. it's addicting once you start reading!.. ironic? hmmm)
-Pride & Prejudice (Thank you for letting me borrow it B)
-The entire Narnia series

I feel like I can most definitely cruise through these by the end of Winter Break which will give me enough time to compile a more extensive list. I've read the Narnia series but at the time could not understand everything so I want to read it again as an adult. It should be interesting. I'm open to any suggestions.. so anyone read anything good lately?

The Music and the Hope for Love Keeps Me Alive

2008-10-26T22:36:00.002-05:00

So many exciting things are happening right now.. so much is happening. I feel like I'm in a whirlwind. A whirlwind of decisions and turning points and it's exciting and nerve wracking at the same time. As I'm picking out classes for next semester I'm reminded that I will only have to do that 2 more times after Wednesday night and that my classes are getting more focused and that soon I won't have more classes to take, but instead a degree. That's scary. Thinking about it makes me think about youth ministry and the real prospect that it might be something I want to pursue when I'm done here. I know I love teaching, but do I want to do that right out of school? I know eventually I think I want to be a guidance counselor, but when do I start grad school for that?

Now I know I have plenty of time to think, pray, and make these decisions, but I still feel like I can't push them to the side. This is what's happening. After college I am in the job market, and I can't just go home and simply live there still a child.. I wish I could do that. Sometimes what I wouldn't give to be 4 years old again. I had my best friend, John who I conveniently was going to marry, my family, my church, my home, my mother to dress me every day and my father to play games with. What more did I need? I knew God, my family and my friends loved me and that was life.

It's when I start thinking too much about those things that I realize the best thing about my life. I am in college. I have thousands upon thousands of opportunities in front of me. I get to still be financially dependent but now get to make decisions for myself. I get to hang out with my friends every day of the week and get to go on trips and grow closer to God, my family and friends through every day experiences. I will have a degree when I leave here, and what I do with it depends on me. What choices I make and what I go after.

So as for now I'm taking it one day at a time. That's all I can do, and quite frankly, that's all I want to do.

I Love My Life

2008-10-10T15:45:00.003-05:00

..I'm just looking out my window
happy just watching my world go round
and i think to myself
how lucky can a girl be?
i've got everything
more than i ever dreamed
i love my life..
-Jamie O'Neal: I Love My Life

That's been what God has been making realize in so many different ways.

It's Been Awhile

2008-10-06T19:25:00.002-05:00

Sorry I have not updated for awhile. (Mom) The move back to Chicago and the start of school and everything has definitely kept me busy. I'll give a brief update for those of you who aren't my mother. I'm now living in an on campus apartment on Sawyer & Argyle. (A block between Spaulding and Kedzie) It's not a huge place, but we have hard wood floors, air conditioning, and a dishwasher. I like apartment living a lot more than living in a dorm. I do miss having almost everyone I'd want to see down the hall, but the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. I'm in term b of the education program and have begun teacher aiding at Jamieson Elementary School. (It's on Francisco and Hollywood) I'm in a sixth grade class and have been mainly observing. My friend Christine was placed at the same school and has a car so we carpool together, which is great. My teacher is super flexible which is perfect for teacher aiding. Next semester I'll be mini teaching in grades 3-5 and spring semester senior year I'll be student teaching grades k-2. (I was able to choose the age groups I wanted to do for each sequence) I'm taking a lot of methods classes and for those I tutor students at Hibbard, which is a lot of fun and it's great experience. Other than education classes I'm just taking Research Methods in Psychology which is painfully boring, but a necessary prerequisite. I'm getting through.
..That pretty much covers my academic life. Besides that I keep busy with work at phonathon, student association, and of course friends. I love being out here and am having so much fun. I will try to be more disciplined about posting!

Learning Something Everyday

2008-08-07T13:05:00.002-05:00

Side note: When I logged onto blogspot the first thing that popped up was "Blogger Babies" and pictures of adorable little babies! How fun! (They aren't cuter than my main squeeze, Mr. Alexander Daigle though!.. I may be a little partial)

So today is in every sense of the word a lazy day. It's afternoon and I haven't showered yet and am still in my pajamas. (It's the next item on my list though I swear..) I'm on the downstairs computer which I really don't use very often and I was looking through old documents and found a folder containing many of the things I wrote in high school. It has been fun to read old papers and things of the sort, but two documents stood out to me the most.

The first, "My Career Goals", written on March 9th, 2006. This was for my Careers in Education class. It was a class in which I learned a lot about teaching and left school after 6th period to go to my former elementary school and get some practical experience student teaching.. AWESOME class. In this "paper" for lack of a better term (It's a little less than a page) I'm talking about why I wanted to be a teacher or youth minister. It's encouraging to see my passion almost 3 years ago for what is still churning within me. An excerpt from that paper:

"When I’m around children, whether they are toddlers or teenagers, I thrive off their energy and their innocence. In my many experiences working with children, whether it was as a confidant, counselor, or a babysitter, I have always walked away from the experience having had fun. Although working with children can be demanding and a lot of hard work, the rewards far surpass that. There is a quote from someone I once talked to that has shaped my career goals. “At the end of the day do you want to be remembered by the number of accomplishments and awards you have gained, or by the number of lives you’ve changed?” I feel that through teaching and youth ministry I can truly help change lives, and that is why I am on that career path."

.. I think I need to read this more often.

Another thing I found was the "sermon" I gave for our youth group AIDS and Tuberculosis benefit work and worship weekend service. (That's a mouthful) Basically we had a Friday night worship service centered around how we can help our world with the AIDS/TB issue and we invited youth groups from around New England and they came and stayed overnight at our church and we did various service projects in our area the next day. This night is now kind of infamous among my NP friends because it is the first night Alissa (my roommate last year) and Kiera (a close friend of mine) remember seeing me and meeting me. Alissa tells the story of how she thought I was so cool (the first time anyone's told me that! =P) because I was up front playing guitar and Kiera remembers what I wore that night. (That was a little creepy when she told me because I had forgotten, but it perfectly describes Kiera) Somehow I think I may have been more insightful in high school than now. Please excuse grammar because this wasn't a paper, but more of a guide for me to give my talk.

I needed the Lord to make my heart move from pity to action. I needed God to show me ways that I could really help others.

But all too often we forget to ask God for help. Don’t we? And we get stuck in our sadness. And sometimes with all of the bad things happening in the world, we can even begin to think that God doesn’t really care anyway…..

Ever hear about the man who was angry with God about the state of the world?....the man said...God people are dying, children are starving, hearts are aching....how can you let your children suffer so much? Why don’t you do something.. And God answered I did...I created you so that you might be my hands & feet helping my children in need in the world..

...I think I should read this in it's entirety every so often as well.

It is encouraging to look back on my thoughts years ago and see how they've matured, changed, and been molded by God. It's also ironic that I still struggle with many of the same things, but who said God was ever quick to answer questions anyway? I think I'm fine with riding it out with him.

That summer I turned a corner in my soul

2008-07-28T21:04:00.002-05:00

This summer I keep realizing more and more how blessed I am. I'm definitely not complaining about that. I just had an amazing long weekend with one of my closest friends, Britta, from North Park. She lives in San Francisco and it was pretty heart warming to know someone would visit me from across the country. Again, not a bad thing to realize you are loved. Thank you for coming out to see me Britta.. it meant the world to me and it was an awesome time.. just saying. ;) I took no pictures as usual so I apologize about that. I think eventually I should try to be better about documenting people and moments of my life via photography.

I did not know what to expect this summer, but I hoped that I would grow as a person. I have made so many realizations about so many aspects of my life. I have learned so much about myself and my life. I have discovered what true friendship is; I have learned more about my calling in life; I have found a love for life and for myself again. These are lessons that I cannot learn by reading a book or listening to great speakers, but lessons that are learned unexpectedly and unintentionally. I think those are some of the best lessons.

If only everything was clear cut

2008-07-16T13:50:00.002-05:00

I am currently sitting in Becky, my youth pastor's office. She is away this week on our church's intergenerational mission trip and so is Craig (another intern) so I am manning the Youth Min. "fort" this week. The more I get to know kids and the more I am able to lead devotions and talk to them the more confused I am. I know I want to work with children or teenagers. I think the only way God could have made it more obvious for me is to drop something on my head that said "Dear Kari, you are supposed to work with children. Love, God". However, my struggle continues to be how much I want my faith to be a part of what I do. Now I know that I can be a Christian role model as a teacher or guidance counselor. I could even teach at a Christian school and be able to be outward with my faith. There is just something that keeps pulling me towards being able to support and encourage kids' personal relationships with God. I know I can always volunteer in youth groups, and I know I will, but I am trying to understand the unclear signals and tugs I am getting on my heart. The more I can talk to people about their struggles in their faith and share mine and tell them they aren't alone the more I desire that. I am eager and anxiously awaiting God's call on my life. I am faithful that he will guide me down the right path, but I wish it was crystal clear.

You've given all these open doors
I am humbled at your feet
Because of what you've done for me
-Jeremy Camp

And when you figure out love is all that matters after all..

2008-06-30T22:30:00.002-05:00

One of the drives I love the most is the drive from my house to church. I love the winding roads, the trees, the fields.. all of it. Last week I was driving to church for a meeting and it was a sun shower and as I headed down East Street there was a huge rainbow and I was driving right towards it. It was honestly one of the moments in life that takes your breath away. I was listening to the song (I think it's called) Made To Worship by Chris Tomlin and I was just overwhelmed.

You and I were made to worship
You and I are called to love
You and I are forgiven and free
You and I embrace surrender
You and I choose to believe
Then you and I will see we were meant to be

I've been thinking a lot about what I want and need for and in my life. I've realized I need people in my life who embrace life and love it. We are on this earth for far too short of a time to be overly concerned about how this person has wronged you, or about how you deserve recognition but don't get it, or about what car you drive, or the name brand on your apparel. While I do feel that material things to a certain extent when approached with the proper attitude aid in happiness, they are not most important. It is in the moments where I forget about everything else but just enjoy the company of others that I am most happy.

This summer is so awesome in so many ways. I cannot wait to spend a lot of time at Pilgrim Pines this month because I know that feeling will intensify.

Summer

2008-06-13T23:29:00.002-05:00

So I have been terrible at keeping up with blogging. My mother (who keep in mind I talk to everyday and see nearly every day) has been nagging me to update, so thank-you Mom for keeping me in line.

I must admit I started the summer with a terrible attitude. An "I miss North Park and nothing will compare to the times I have out there and I'm going to be bored and never see anyone" attitude. I moped around for awhile and felt sad, and it got me nowhere. Then somewhere inside me it clicked that things in life are what you make of them. Needless to say it was the kick in the pants I really needed.

Summer has been so much fun! I'm really enjoying life, and it's so great. At the beginning of the summer I thought without a doubt I could NEVER, EVER endure another summer in Connecticut. Things are different this year; I'm reconnecting with old friends from high school who are wonderful people and I'm seeing the friends I always see during breaks and I'm loving the sights and sounds of Connecticut and New England. It's really wonderful. God is faithful and I know he puts me places for reasons I will never understand. I am so thankful for that.

I "taught" (I think led is a better word) Sr. High Sunday School the first few weeks I was back and I told them how I think of my faith as a road, and I wish I had expounded on it a little more, because I think it really forms the foundation of who I am as a Christian. This road has many exciting turns, huge hills and even some major tire busting potholes. There are many forks in the road which sometimes lead straight into the exciting curves or downhills, and others that lead to pothole after pothole. Then of course sometimes I just hit an unbearable long straight-away. Nothing happening. I always picture just plain fields on either side of me (I'm usually biking for some reason in this little fantasy of mine, just so you know) and I'm bored; there isn't even corn to look at. The thing that I simultaneously hate and love about this road is that I feel like I have very little control over my handlebars or pedals. However, I stay on the bike; I always seem to resist my urge to simply hop off, or even the urge to just bail no matter what terrain I'm going over. It's staying on the bike that keeps me sane and grounded. Although sometimes I feel like the bike is useless and isn't helping me, it never fails me.

Time and time again God proves his faithfulness and his patience to stay with me. Right now I feel like I'm coasting down a really fun downhill into the sunset, and it's a good place to be. =)

The picture is of me on Skaket Beach on Cape Cod. Doesn't take much to realize how beautiful our world is huh?

Take the good with the bad

2008-04-25T00:55:00.002-05:00

Today's rant: (I'll make it brief) The Red Cross Volunteers at North Park. There are periodically blood drives in the lobby of Carlson and I have not had a good experience with the Red Cross people who work them. Last semester they cornered me and a group of my friends walking to class. My friends were all giving their excuses why they couldn't (had been out of the country, had a piercing etc.) and I admit I shamefully hid in the back out of fear. Well the lady said to us "What goes around comes around". We were all like now we're convinced to donate blood... yeah right. Then again today they did the same thing and said "If you were in a horrible car accident you'd want blood wouldn't you?!" I mean really people. If you want someone who's scared of donating blood to donate, don't make them scared of you.

Anyways, on a lighter note. A couple nights ago one of my favorite North Park memories thus far occurred. My friends Christine and Kristen's fish, Stanley VanWahlskog (a combination of their last names) was found at the bottom of his tank crushed by the hippo that was a decoration in his tank. A couple of the guys built Stanley a ship and about 20 or so of us wore dark clothing and processed from Burgh singing the funeral march all the way to the north branch river. Christine and Britta then said some final words and Nina removed Stanley and put him in his ship. Some of the guys lit the ship on fire and we sent good ol' Stan down the north branch. As he started picking up steam we ran to the bridge and as he crossed under us all scurried to the other side. It was a Viking farewell that Stanley very much deserved.

These are moments I will always remember

My Brother

2008-04-21T00:47:00.002-05:00

The group that went to the Cubs game on Thursday

On May 9, 1991 my life would change forever. I vaguely remember that day, but I can visualize certain aspects of it. I remember my mommy and daddy leaving. If only then at almost age 3 I knew how much my life would change. Erik and I thankfully never went through a stage where we really didn't like each other, but we certainly did not always have a relationship like we do now. I feel blessed each and every day to have him in my life, and as time goes on I realize how critical he is to me.

We just spent a few days together here in Chicago. This time has meant the world to me. I miss him so much some days when I'm here, and having him here just lifts my spirits.

Thank you Mom and Dad for deciding to have a second child. Thank you Erik for always being there; I pray that our relationship will only continue to grow.

Restoration

2008-04-13T23:58:00.003-05:00

Do you ever find it weird how some days things just click? There's no profound moment or definable anything, but something is different. I truly believe these are the times where I can feel God the most. Yes of course when I think back to mission trips, retreats, CHIC, worship services I can clearly remember feeling so connected to God, but it's in a different way. I hope that you have experienced what I am talking about, because it's a great, relieving feeling.

Titus 3:5- he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy...

how can i keep from singing your praise
how can i ever say enough
how amazing is your love
how can i keep from shouting your name
i know i am loved by the king
and it makes my heart wanna sing